"Notes" Prank Gift Box

The safest and coolest headphones ever made!

Say hello to the new generation of headphones: Notes By Dr. Day. Using state-of-the-art software that digitally transcodes loud music into soft music, you can now crank up your tunes to the highest level of softness! And with an external volume level indicator, your parents or guardians will feel good, too.

MATERIALS: Made of American cardboard and ink.
SIZE: 11.25 x 9 x 3.25 (About the size of a giant phone book)
Made in the USA

Note to Darrin S. in Newport, Vermont: This is a GIFT BOX ONLY. Please don't call us again and leave a 12 minute voice mail complaining about "some stupid box that got my hopes up with no God-damned product inside."